I woke up today with something on my mind. I’ve done a bunch of guys wrong, and I really regret it. If you look at me today, you might think what I’ve become is due to a bad childhood, but that’s not really the case. In fact, if you see anything good in me, much of that can be attributed to those formative years. I grew up in a tough part of Miami, surrounded by Cubans and other Hispanics. I’ve always felt a little out of place since I’m Asian, but the friends I grew up with were family to me. In fact, I almost thought I was Cuban because of this. They meant everything to me; they gave me whatever identity I had. So when I moved out of Miami, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I went from living in the city with a bunch of good friends to living on a farm with almost no friends, so I felt really lost living in Virginia.

You see, these guys are really good guys. They’re fighters and lovers. They defend their territory and love their women deeply. So they hated the fact that I gave my mom a hard time.

In fact, one of my friend’s moms didn’t like the fact that he was hanging out with me. She told him that if I could treat my mom that way, how would I treat him?

She was right to call me out. Back then, I didn’t appreciate the sacrifices my mom made, and I let my own hurt make me reckless with the people who cared about me.

Looking back, those guys showed me what unconditional loyalty looked like, even when I didn’t deserve it. It took me years and a lot of distance to realize that true loyalty starts at home. I regret the ways I fell short back then, but I’m grateful for the grace and lessons they taught me about what it really means to stand by the people you love.