I don’t know where people get the idea that I have secret sins. My sins are fully exposed to the public, I couldn’t have a secret sin if I wanted to. Now I don’t go around with a t-shirt telling people I struggle with porn or some particular sin, but that doesn’t mean I’m trying to hide anything.

I admit I’m like 3 different people, but I’ve had to be this way out of necessity. It’s not like everyone is honest with me when they pretend they don’t know me, pretend they aren’t invading my privacy, or pretend they don’t know what’s going on, so why do I need to be fully upfront with them about anything? And the last time I was honest about who I was and what was going on in my life, I was put under heavy medication to numb me.

People don’t want to hear what I have to say. I just can’t go around talking about what’s really going on in my life like loss of privacy and a stupid conspiracy hanging over my head. No one wants to hear that stuff, so I’ve got to pretend that none of this is going on–just like everyone is pretending with me. Sure I may act one way around my family and one way around someone else, but even my own family is trying to dupe me when they all know what’s going on. I live with someone who is responsible much of this loss of privacy, but they aren’t being up front with me about anything, so why do I need to be upfront with them? I’ve got to compartmentalize my life for my own sanity. You can call it whatever you want, but I’m being forced to live this way. If I were to be the same person wherever I go, I would always be talking about all of this stuff but I can’t really do that so what am I supposed to do? So yeah, you probably won’t hear me saying any of this stuff outside of my blog.